How to Quiet Your Inner Critic and Stop Self-Judgment
Judging other people is something we all do. It’s a subtle reflex that we may not even be aware of because it happens all day long. Most people have an opinion, a reaction, a judgment about the way someone speaks, how they dress, or how they behave. When you put yourself out there alone, vulnerable, and in front of others like an actor or a speaker, it’s likely you’re going to be judged or reviewed.
Even knowing that there are so many critics and judges already out there, we still judge ourselves and attach those negative feelings to who we are. We play the same loop over and over in our heads: “I should have done 15 more minutes on the elliptical. I’m so lazy. Why did I eat that piece of cake? I’m fat. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so stupid.” Then, all of these feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment show up, and we get stuck.
Table of Contents
- Understanding Self-Judgment
- The Impact of Self-Judgment
- Four Ways to Let Go of Self-Judgment
- Conclusion
Understanding Self-Judgment
We are constantly forming opinions about ourselves, what we’re doing, and how we’re doing it. This self-judgment is not just a roadblock; it’s a life block. It’s a cycle that will go on and on unless you approach it differently. The key to breaking this cycle is awareness.
The Impact of Self-Judgment
Judging yourself negatively affects your mental health and well-being. It creates a cycle of self-doubt and negativity that can be hard to break. This self-criticism can prevent you from reaching your full potential and enjoying your achievements.
Four Ways to Let Go of Self-Judgment
1. Recognize Your Feelings
When you judge yourself, try to become aware of it. When you’re working on a talk and think, “I sound like an idiot. I’m so frustrated. I’m never going to memorize this thing. I just can’t do it,” take a moment and recognize how you feel.
- “I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
- “I’m feeling angry.”
- “I’m feeling stupid.”
- “I’m judging my writing and my performance.”
Simply recognize these feelings without attaching them to yourself.
2. Accept What’s Happening
Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like what’s happening, but it means acknowledging it.
- “I’m not having a good rehearsal.”
- “I hate what I’ve written.”
- “I’m really upset.”
Accept the situation as it is without further judgment.
3. Question Your Feelings
Ask yourself why you feel this way.
- “Did I come to rehearsal unprepared?”
- “Am I trying to be someone else on stage?”
Instead of judging yourself, ask questions to understand the root cause of your feelings.
4. Separate Yourself from Your Feelings
Remember, you are not the feelings you are having.
- “You are not a stupid person; you are having feelings of stupidity.”
- “You are not an angry person; you are having feelings of anger.”
Recognize that these feelings are temporary and do not define you as a person.
Conclusion
It takes practice, but when you’re struggling in rehearsal, during rewrites, or having overwhelming negative feelings, hopefully, you can stop judging yourself and leave that to everyone else. This approach can help you have more clarity on judgment and letting go of self-judgment.
