Why Apologizing Has No Place on Stage
I am so happy to be here today to talk about why apologizing has no place in the process of public speaking or performing. Unless you are late to rehearsal, you should never apologize.
The Value of Apologizing
First, let’s acknowledge that the ability to apologize effectively is an honorable and valuable quality. In many areas of life, including personal relationships, apologizing can help resolve conflicts and build trust. For instance, in a happy marriage, partners may apologize to each other to maintain harmony and understanding.
The Dangers of Apologizing on Stage
However, once you get into the rehearsal room, step onto the stage for your talk, or stand up at the wedding of your best friend, do not apologize. Ever. Even if your script bursts into flames and you can’t remember a single word, put out the fire, take a deep breath, and keep going. Apologizing in these moments is the surest way to lose the audience’s trust.
If you frequently apologize in rehearsal, it will happen on stage. I’ve worked with actors who apologized so frequently during the rehearsal process that they started saying “sorry” unconsciously during a show. This undermines their performance and the audience’s confidence in them.
Strategies to Avoid Apologizing
If you forget a line, simply pause. The audience doesn’t know you’ve forgotten the line. Take a walk to the podium, look at your notes, and continue. If you stumble over a word, say it again clearly and move on without apology. You are the expert on that stage.
If your clicker stops working and the slide doesn’t advance, find humor in the situation or ask for help without apologizing. The audience has been there, too. Technical issues are a part of life. They won’t judge you unless you apologize.
The Audience's Perspective
The audience is rooting for you. They are excited and eager to be inspired by your talk even before you begin. Apologizing creates worry, anxiety, and distance between you and the audience. It erodes their trust in you, and it’s challenging to regain that trust within the limited time of your presentation.
When we attend a theater performance, we are already in awe of the actors before the curtain rises. As a speaker, your audience feels the same way about you. They want to be taken on a journey and be inspired by your story. Apologizing disrupts this connection and diminishes your impact.
Conclusion
To summarize:
- If you forget a line, pause and then continue.
- If you stumble over a word, repeat it.
- If you have a technical malfunction, laugh it off or ask for help.
I believe in you and your powerful ideas. I want everyone to see you, hear you, and be moved by your story. By not apologizing from the stage, you will achieve these goals.
